What's wrong with Schools Nowadays

There are few things that get me passionate enough to write a blog post about.  Well this is one of those few things.  So here goes.

I wish schools these days were more like the ones we used to go to.  Background.  Daughter goes to an expensive British school here.  Following the National Curriculum of UK.   Most of the teachers "in charge" come from UK with salaries miles higher than the local people.  Everything is copied from UK in general, including the calendar matched exactly to UK schools so that the British teachers in charge can go on holiday and meet their loved ones at the right times.  There is an undercurrent of resentment because of this perceived injustice among the local teachers as they almost always work harder and better than their British counterparts, atleast in my experience. 

Anyway, as Daughter has grown older, less and less marked work comes home.  Right now, my eight year old brings zero Maths marked work home.  Maths homework is given just once a week.  "Revision" work is regularly sent home just before assessments where the work of teaching NEW concepts is then happily passed on to the parents.  There are no text books of any sort where parents can refer to for concepts that they are supposed to teach during this "Revision" work.  The same library books are allocated every year to students of new classes.  Thus students don't own anything of academic value. Spelling tests are supposedly taken every week, but parents don't know how their child is doing as we never see the results.  Project work is regularly allocated (95% of which cannot be handled by 8 year olds alone, because there is so much time consuming, messy and arduous hard work involved of cutting, pasting, stapling and what not, not to mention shopping of raw materials).  Again parents never get to see the results.  How are our children being rewarded for this type of work?  No idea.

Another irritating thing.  Endless collection of money for charity or for the library or for games equipment by the school.  This is apart from the huge sums of money we spend on the school fees each term.  Recently Book Week was held in the school.  Virtually all the activities required more money to be spent.  Book mark competition, poster competition, everything required more money to enter.  Supposedly the school needs more money to buy library books in it's already well stocked library to which students regularly also are asked to donate their own books.

Some of the parents complained after Book Week.  So now, the school has shifted their focus of collecting money to field trips!  Ofcourse the normal school field trip to nearby areas of interest for kids don't lead to too much money being collected.  So now the school has thought of intense adventure focused trips in jungles and forests far away in "eco resorts".  Obviously the school has cooked up some deal with the resort.  We scratch your back, you scratch ours.  Huge sums of money are being extracted per child (eight year old child, mind you) for spending the whole day in these resorts with breakfast and lunch to supposedly justify these expenditures.  Ofcourse the parents have signed away all legal recourse should their poor children ever be bitten by some poisonous snake, spider, insect or just fall into the swamp or gets dragged away by some rogue crocodile for its next meal. Should one poor child's parents have any misgivings about sending their child to these trips then a huge guilt trip is laid on them and the child until consent is given.  This was what was done to Daughter.  Not only where we written to twice we were orally cajoled and threatened about the consequences of not sending her (each time in front of her).  Daughter was also interrogated about justifying our reasons for not sending her asking her on which field trip had she actually got a poisonous bite which got infected leading to a surgery under GA.  Ofcourse we had never said that she had incurred the bite on a field trip, just that she had suffered such and that we were nervous about sending her to such a wild environment where there are bound to be other poisonous insects and dangerous animals.

The parents of children in higher classes all resort to tutors.   I hear about how the syllabus has not been completed.  And then there are the constant resignations by the local teachers in the middle of the school year who feel aggrieved about their pittance of a salary and far too much work.  (Not academic, most of it, but things required for show, doing notice board displays, arranging field trips, filing reports and other administrative duties). 

I understand the school has it's commercial interests. However, right now it seems that's all they have.  Academics don't seem to be a concern in the least bit.  I wonder often if we are doing the right thing sending Daughter to such schools.  After all, how much do school drama productions, field trips and charitable endeavours, coupled with near zero learning help one earn a living in the future? 

I'm Back!

This is probably my first post this year!  I know, pathetic.

So, what excuse do I have for this laziness?  Well, there has been a lot of travelling this year (right this moment there are still some unpacked suitcases in my boudoir) and I have started to exercise a lot more frequently, so I have practically no free time.  Daughter's school work has also got more demanding (for some reason schools here think at least one parent is also enrolled as a student).  There are always some time consuming pieces of work to be done, usually crafts! Hair brained management of school has made it their business to overturn almost all old school rules.  One of the results of one such stupid new rule of getting rid of staggered timings is that now it takes forever to come home.  After H's bout of dengue, he's also given up the daily drops of Daughter to school, so more has been added to my list of chores. 

Ok so the above, rather than being excuses are basically a snapshot of my life right now.  Many more chores to do!

Thanks to H having turned gluten and lactose intolerant after his bout of dengue I find that I have lost my interest in cooking as I can only cook very specific things now.

Anyway, here are  2 of the things I made recently, with a little involvement of Daughter too.

The first one is devilled eggs made interesting with a few mustard seeds and tomato pieces.  The second one is gluten free cupcakes for the hubby on the 17th anniversary of our being together.

I'm making this post short and sweet so that I actually publish it!  Cheers all!

Letting People Walk All over You or Not

I had a talk with Daughter the other day which I didn't enjoy giving but which I thought was important to give her.  She does not as yet have the self confidence I wish her to have.  She doesn't like being in the limelight and questions her talents even when everyone else acknowledges them. 

A recent play date went off brilliantly except when her friend thought that Daughter had let her have the bracelet she let her wear during dress up time.  When I found out I let her know that she needed to make amends as I'd just bought it as a gift for her less than a week ago, and it wasn't cheap.  In the end, Daughter did manage to hold on to the bracelet but by offering a choice of another bracelet which she told her friend she'd made herself for her.  However friend was a bit grumpy after that and demanded some other gifts to make her stop being a grouch. 

A week or two later I reflected back and realised that the said friend always was very assertive and demanding (for toys and trinkets) whenever she was over.  And we, both me and Daughter had never said no to her.  Even when Daughter had managed to salvage precious bracelet on last occasion, she had not done so in a forthright manner.  It was lucky for her that said Friend had fallen for the bait for the other bracelet!

I told Daughter that she needed not to be a walk over like I had been until only recently.  I admit, I have always found it hard to say no to people even when I knew that they were clearly taking advantage of me, and would never return the favour, judging from their past behaviour.  I explained to her about the "survival of the fittest rule" and how most people always followed that rule.  Soft people ended up being taken advantage of and victims and hard people went ahead.  I know that this may have been a bit too early to break such mean news to her but she needs to beware earlier than I became so.  It's hard to teach this old dog (i.e moi) new tricks.  The earlier the lesson learnt, the better.

It's only recently that I have started getting a bit tough on "friends".  There are "friends" who never ever invite us over when we are in town, and have frankly jumped to stay at our place, wherever we happen to be.  There are friends who write for information whenever they need it, but don't bother to write back when I try to get in touch.  There are "friends" who don't pick up the phone when I call, with the aid of their smart phones which send me straight to voice mail, but only when they don't need anything from me.  And for these "friends" until recently I would move heaven and earth to please them.  It's only this year I realised that I need to stop being a walk over.  I don't want Daughter to wait as long as I did.

Tiredness

So this post comes months later from the previous one and the reason has been given in the title.  Tiredness.  Yes, I am so much more tired these days than I remember being in the past.  And the days seem way shorter. 

I was trying to decide yesterday whether I have really reason enough to feel so much more tired these days, or whether it's just the dreaded getting older bit.

Well, this year has been the mother of all years for bad luck for my family.  We have had pretty much continued sicknesses to deal with since April.  My old daily maid left, and my dish washer conked out pretty soon after that.  Which means more daily washing up, a task I detest and I have not done by hand ever since I can remember.  H has been sick on and off since April, so the things he used to give me a hand with have gone down significantly. 

We had to fumigate the whole apartment recently for which we put away huge amounts of things in boxes and they had to be unpacked.  Speaking of packing/unpacking we had rather a lot of trips which we went on which increased the work load when we come back (pack/unpack)

The school run has become horrendous.  Daughter's school starts half an hour earlier and ends half hour later.  Because the commute is much worse I'm spending double the time travelling.  Before April, H used to drop her off 5 days a week and then it suddenly went down to zero.  Now, slowly he's gone back to 2 days a week. 

Daughter's homework load has quadrupled.  She often needs supervision so the rest I used to give myself in the afternoons has pretty much disappeared.

Psychologically it has been a trying year.  And when one worries or is depressed, tiredness follows. 

I had given up doing so many things I used to do before if not religiously, at least much more frequently than I do now.  Things I gave up include doing yoga, hitting the gym atleast 2 to 3 times a week.  My skin had also started reflecting all the stress I was going through and I had the worst skin and hair this year than I remember having since after having my baby. 

Anyway, recently, about a month ago I guess, I stopped waiting for things to get better.  I decided to accept as much as possible that this is the new reality.  And get back with baby steps to the way things were.  So this week I have managed to do yoga twice (perhaps for 10-15 minutes max) and hit the gym (again not more than 20 minutes each day).  Have also finally started some at home solutions in an attempt to revive my much troubled skin.  And gone back to blogging. 

So here goes.  after 4 months I have finally stopped waiting and just started accepting. 

Crowning Glory? Not so much

I've finally decided not to visit Cr*wn again.  It's a high end hair and beauty parlour here.  It is a great place looks wise.  However I've had my fair share of bad experiences there.  They include:

• Being cut while having a pedicure done (they didn't charge me for that but hell, I could have contracted a disease)
• Having my hair cut 6 inches shorter than I had asked for.
• Allowing pets inside.
• Just charging ridiculous amounts.  This has increased after they have moved to their new premises.  Recently I booked a hair ironing.  Wanting to know how much it would cost (I was going to take cash, which I often don't have enough of) they told me Rs 2000 was the starting price but it would depend on my hair length.  I described my hair : it was half way down my back.  They said it would have to wait until I came and then they would look at my hair and tell me.  I arrived at the parlour and showed the reception guy my hair.  I pointed out that it was already re-bonded and only needed straightening at the crown.  He still didn't mention an amount and told me to wait.  Finally the person who was going to do the work turned up.  I had my shampooing done by an assistant/ trainee and then the main guy (who's a hot shot in the hair cutting business here) arrives.  Note that I didn't ask for a senior person to do my simple hair straightening.  Hot shot wants to know what my husband does, does he work here.  When I confirmed that he did work here, he goes "So you're here to spend his money!"  How ridiculous and insulting, however I didn't show that I was offended.  Halfway through another customer arrives and beckons Hot Shot over.  He moves over to other customer half way, leaving trainee to finish up.  Anyway, when I go to pay the bill hot shot guy comes and whispers something to billing guy/receptionist.  Then I find out that I've been charged Rs 3500 for something that other parlours charge Rs 1800 or below and for which I've never before paid more than Rs 2000 at Cr*wn itself.  Also I know this is physical labour but the results of the hair straightening in a humid area like Colombo last couple of hours at most.  I had to re iron my hair in the evening before I went out.  That's Rs 3500 just down the drain.

What happened at the parlour is just unacceptable in my opinion.  If one is to charge such a ridiculously high amount one has to inform the client well before the services start not after as a rude shock.  Especially as I had wanted to know earlier.  One should know that a satisfied customer is the only type of customer to have and if you try to screw the customer around too much you just lose money.  Now I know this may be the Hot Shot guy's fault rather than the whole parlour's but I'm not risking such bad treatment again.  In my opinion a place that makes so much money should not be trying to play silly games like these.

Tsunami Alert

April 11 was a truly scary day in my life. H was not here. He was travelling as usual. I had gone out with Daughter, shopping. The driver was supposed to go on leave for about 3 days from the afternoon. We returned home around 1pm. At around 2.20pm, having just finished our lunch, started Skyping with H. While chatting suddenly felt a swaying motion. Asked Daughter if she was moving the table. Negative. Again swaying. Again checked. It seemed to be an earthquake. Quickly checked the news networks on the internet. Nothing. Couple of more minutes of checking revealed that there had been an earthquake off the coast of Sumatra, Indonesia. More checking, and found that a tsunami alert had been given for quite a number of countries including Sri Lanka. Panic. Made a number of calls and sent an sms. Decided to leave ASAP. Our house faces the sea, just a minute's walk from here. After spending a ridiculous amount of time trying to get my day maid to understand the fact that there had been an earthquake, took the lift downstairs. People in the reception tried to convince me not to leave saying the building was earthquake proof. However who said it was tsunami proof? Could not find the driver. The phone networks were down. Sent a helpful looking security guard down to the basement to find him. A worried looking neighbour was on her way up. She told me the British High Comission had told them to leave. Phone calls kept coming in from H's organisation telling me to leave the area near the coast and go atleast 2.5 km inland. A good samaritan hailing from the same country as me invited me over to their place. We left when the driver finally turned up after a few agonising minutes' wait.

The Driver drove helter skelter through the streets as if any minute the tsunami was going to come and swallow us all up. The roads were absolutely jam-packed and everyone had a worried look on their face and a mobile stuck to their ear. Obviously trying to reach their loved ones. The Driver took another detour and drove like mad to our destination. We got out, relieved. Our friends welcomed us inside. From then on, 2 or more agonsing hours of wait beside the TV which had been turned on to CNN. It had been declared that the tsunami would hit Colombo at 4.50pm. Luckily there was another earthquake a bit later, which deflected the tsunami from reaching.

We spent the night at this friend's place. It was a horrible night of never ending rain, thunder and lightning. Rarely had I spent a more sleepless night.

Returned in the morning to our home, but once reached, packed an emergency bag. The Driver was given his leave one day late, so I kept the car keys ready, just in case there was another earthquake. In the event that there was another emergency I was ready to leave.

I was struck by several things. The country was quite unprepared for such an event. There was no alert system such as a siren. It was basically word of mouth. Nobody called me up to warn me. It's lucky that I had felt the earthquake and decided to leave. The other thing was how uncaring most people were. I had posted an update on facebook before and after I left. I had hardly had a message wishing me well. Let alone a phonecall.The only people who'd called me where my parents and parents in law. In this day of instant communication, I thought the lack of caring spoke volumes. Ofcourse it was hard to understand what had happened from just my update, and I totally don't hold anything against those who really didn't know what was happening, but there were people who knew exactly what had happened (that I had left and taken shelter, and still didn't send an sms or even the free email). However, there were people who I didn't realise were my friends, but who did show me that they cared. The people who opened up their home to me are not too well off at all, and truth be told, I never had considered them real friends in the past. However their generosity really hit home with me. My maid had offered to take me to her home in Gampaha and spend the night with me if I was scared. The Driver had stayed around far beyond his duty time in case I needed his help further. The genorisity of these simple souls was heart warming.

Skincare : 101

Ok, it's ridiculous that I am posting this update, since I am the laziest person when it comes to skin care or a beauty regimen. However, my breakouts were going from bad to worse. Nothing seemed to work, none of the wonderful products that are claimed to do wonders for your skin in the TV ads. Anyway, so recently bought some King Coconuts for Daughter who was quite ill one day recently with a stomach bug. Then it dawned on me to try using the water for the ugly marks the constant attack of acne was leaving behind. And touch wood, it seems to be working. Not only have the marks been reducing, but the acne has as well. It's not totally gone, thanks to me being lazy (see beginning of post), and not doing the regimen religiously, however quite surprised at whatever results I've got. Here's an article that explains why coconut water is apparently good for skin. If like me, you live in a tropical country where this great fruit is abundant, you have no excuse to not use it (unless ofcourse you're lazy like me).