Learning from Past Mistakes

Just came across this headline today.

'At least 31 people killed' in Bangladesh ferry sinking.

As I read on, images flashed to my mind of my own experience with a ferry (near) disaster. I was 14. Had gone to the southern part of my country to visit my ailing Grandmother with my parents and siblings. On the way back, in the middle of the night, the ferry got stuck on some "islands" formed by silt in the middle of the river. We spent the night like that, waiting for some form of rescue, pretty terrified as the area was supposed to be sometimes attacked by "river pirates". My parents were carrying foreign currency (we were visiting from abroad), so there was much to be lost, even if we managed to escape with our lives. Luckily, with the arrival of dawn, another passenger ferry turned up and we managed to change ferries mid river. Quite exciting stuff for a teenager!

Anyway, back to the current headline, it is feared more than 200 people may have lost their lives. It seems people in Bangladesh have learnt absolutely nothing about personal safety over the years. Every year brings new news of ferry disasters and no one, neither the authorities nor individual passengers nor the owners of the vessels that ply the waterways do anything differently. It seems no one cares for these lives that are lost and will do nothing to change their ways.

Modern Times, Modern Problems

I often feel that we are going crazy with technology. We don't know how to live naturally at all. And we overshare everything. If you think facebook is bad, look at the people who go on reality shows. Then there's blogging and podcasting.

Who hasn't met or heard of someone having an online fling? And rare is the family who are not hooked totally to electronic gadgets. In fact, this is the typical modern family today, with children whose sole entertainment during their free time is computer games and playstations. Don't get me wrong, I'm not taking the higher ground here. I feel almost everyone I know (including my own family) is way too much into technology for their day to day affairs. I listen to podcasts while waiting for Daughter to go to sleep. H is hooked to the TV and Angry Birds. Daughter listens to audiobooks relentlessly. We cannot seem to go for a walk without something to listen to. Sounds of nature are just not bearable.

With all this reliance on unnatural things, it's no wonder unnatural and previously unheard of problems like ADD, ADHD, SID etc are so common nowadays. Sad and very worrying.

I try to fight the trends, unsuccessfully I might add. I try to remind H not to spring to the blackberry, TV and ipod every free second he gets. I try to limit Daughter's time listening to audiobooks. I try to not get hooked to day time TV.

Ofcourse, technology is not all bad. I live abroad, don't do conventional work and have few friends. This technology has kept me sane to a large extent. Countless times I have turned to google and babycentre to look up something that was wrong with my baby. So, on the whole I'm happy it's there. I just wish we didn't let technology consume us and change us into machines who spend little time communicating with each other in more natural ways.

Old Dutch Hospital, Fort.

I have started reading the Julie and Julia blog. While looking for it I also came across the rather disconcerting piece of news that Julie cheated on her husband (after the movie deal?) and then wrote another book about that experience. Weird or what? And somehow it just seems like she's exploiting people for money. Maybe she had an affair just so she could write about it. Who knows? Anyway, definitely won't be reading that book.

Life in Colombo is getting increasingly boring on a personal level now that I'm no longer studying and also because H is going crazy working round the clock. I so need a way of using my time constructively! So not the type to enjoy watching the TV the whole day long!

However there have been good changes happening in Colombo. More shops have opened up (Mango's here now, though way more expensive than any other shop here) and the old Dutch Hospital at Fort has been converted to a tourist hotspot of swanky restaurants and small outlets of the popular shops here such Odel and Barefoot. We've eaten at 2 of the joints : Work in Progress and Heladiv and both were good and very tastefully decorated. Many of the old structures are getting a much needed lick of paint as well. Also old colonial buildings are having their walls torn down so that they are more visible to passersby. The expressway to Galle is also operational though we still have not used it.

Changes change everything

So, daughter has learnt many new things this year. She can now:

1. Do multiplication up to 5 (Not yet taught at school)
   
2. Do addition through carrying (Not yet taught at school)
3. Do the back stroke (just about - and yes not taught at school : remind me again why I send her to school?)
4. Read mother tongue moderately well (not taught at school)
5. Count in mother tongue up to 30 (ditto).
6. Eat her dinner on her own (eating basmati rice on own with a spoon is a big deal: it's not simple at all, especially if mixed with gravy (ditto).
   
7. Go to sleep without me in the same room (though we do join her afterwards - her bed is still in our room). (ditto)

These are just some of the things I remember right now. I'm sure there are loads more.

Funnily enough, it is me who feels bad about her progress in many ways (not needing me to go to sleep) even though it is liberating. I'm so sentimental! However, am planning on blogging more regularly since I have more free time at night now.

What does it say about you when you don't like your friends?

Was watching Julie and Julia the other day when I noticed that rather interesting dialogue. This is exactly the way I feel. Or would feel if I had any real friends that is. Ha ha. Yes, I've realised that though I have plenty of this so called species on facebook, in reality I have precious little of them right now.

I think I did have friends till university. Then ofcourse everyone got busy with their lives, getting married, having kids, immigrating, moving. I did all of the above except for immigrating, and still had time for friends. However hardly any one had time for me in general. The problem is also exacerbated because of our moving around from country to country. Naturally it's easiest to make new friends with other expats. However as soon as I become anything near close to them, they up and leave. I have also had the misfortune that anyone who seems remotely interesting seems more interested in housework and ironically hanging around at home so that the maid can do their work, rather than socialising in the mornings when the kids (if they have any) are at school. I have also found it strange that the moms that I know prefer to have play dates with kids rather than meet when the kids are at home (refer back to making the maid work excuse). It seems strange that play dates for kids who are 6 or 7 years old are needed! Don't they get enough play time while they're at school for crying out loud?

Overall, I feel I've been swept aside and forgotten about while everyone is busy dealing with the rat race that is life. I don't really know why I don't feel much of an urge to join the rat race myself. I also feel I'm somewhat a loner in this search for friends. Most people I know are more interested in policing their housemaids, and sticking to their daily routines than meeting up with me.

Don't get me wrong, I've got plenty of people who want to stay in touch, more often than not when they need something. Usually after they have got what they wanted (often a free stay at my house, with me slaving away after them), I'm chewed up and spat out. There are other friends who are always on the invisible mode, again until they need to kill time.

Ofcourse it's entirely my fault that I have given people the message that it's ok to treat me in this fashion. And I've taken steps to reduce the dumb behaviour on my part. Even though it's lonely, it's better not to have many friends than to not like the ones you have.

Happy New Year

Even though I have only 3 followers to my posts, I'm going to keep on writing. Because I love looking back oh every year or so and seeing how things have changed.

December and January have both been extra-ordinarily busy. Got work for myself which I can do over the net! So that's totally amazing. I have yet to collect payment for work done though. Hope that works out, given that the people I'm offering services to are in another country!

Our driver quit in December and that was quite the wake up call as he did it the day before H left for NY and school was very much open. So have been taking steps towards getting a license. Got my learner's permit this month. It was a little bit of a nightmare doing so, as they couldn't make my finger prints match. I think that's down to me hardly having any discernible finger prints! I don't know why that is. Extra smooth fingers I guess.

Ok, it's the middle of the night here so must go!

Little Miss Muffet

I had this conversation with Daughter yesterday and thought would put it up on this blog. The way I see it, I don't think anyone else reads the darn blog (regularly) except me. And it's nice for me to remember these conversations. And the only person who I can think of would read these blog posts years from now on, is my daughter. And she'd get a kick out of knowing what she used to say when she was six. So here goes.

Scene: Me (spooning out Curd to daughter during lunch).
Daughter : Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet eating her curds and whey. What's whey?
Me: Whey is what you call the juice of the yoghurt. See, Little Miss Muffet eats her curds AND whey. Why don't you eat the " juice"? Little Miss Muffet eats it.
Daughter: Little Miss Muffet isn't real. And why would a spider come and sit down beside her? Spiders can't sit! They can only stand. And what's a tuffet anyway?
Me (dumbfounded): Don't really know what a tuffet is. We'll look it up on the internet when you've finished lunch. Now eat your curd.